I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument while the song I came to sing remains unsung.
      - Rabindranath Tagore

As creatives, the possession of a strong, clear vision for our work, and faith in its value, is a rare and valuable characteristic. Similarly, in life, a strong clear vision of who you are, what you have to offer that is unique, and what you want out of life, is rare and valuable.

The lack of a clear creative vision can manifest in a lack of focus – the jumping from one half-finished project to another. It can manifest in the abandonment of a project at the first sign of market indifference or rejection. Sometimes what is abandoned has great potential value, but unless its creator has faith in it, it can’t build the momentum required to surpass those early hurdles that almost all creative projects encounter. The more unique the project, the more the more difficult it is to build that initial momentum. And the lack of a strong, clear vision can manifest as an inability to get started. It can manifest as procrastination – the tendency to watch YouTube and TikTok videos, or email friends, rather than write your novel, or paint.

I’ve been wondering all day today, since updating the Heron Dance Projects and Random Thoughts page, if I might be falling victim to an aspect of this. I use that page review what I’m working on, and why, and how projects are progressing. Its greatest value may be that, by writing things out, I come to understand them better, and thus understand what I’m doing, and why, better.

In the last year I’ve taken on more projects than I can reasonably finish in a quality way without working 70-80 hours a week. Today’s entry has led me to wonder if the problem might be a deep-down lack of faith in the long-term prospects for the two activities I most want to focus on – painting, and writing about the value of journaling as a tool to better understand the characteristics and trends of one’s creative work and life.

I don’t have a conclusion yet on my own situation, but I recognize that it is important and deserving of thought. My point is this – the possibility didn’t occur to me until I wrote about it this morning. By writing out what was happening, a possibility emerged, one that I hadn’t previously considered, that deserves thought: I take on too many projects because I lack faith in the potential of any one single project. I lose my nerve. I have a crisis of confidence, of courage.

There are other possible explanations too, that also deserve thought, but whatever is causing it, it is reaching crisis proportions in my life and thus needs to be addressed. It is most likely a combination of several factors including, that, as a creative person, I am a fount of ideas. And I always think I can accomplish more in a day, week or month than I actually can.

To create a work of beauty, of power and usefulness to others requires thought. That thought is necessary to build the clarity necessary to have faith in the idea, and thus internal momentum. Then the hard work comes in, the execution with decisiveness. The discipline to stick with your vision until its birth, and then the persistence to offer it to the world and continue to offer it despite initial indifference and rejection. All great works go through these phases, and not just creative work.

One of my favorite quotes on this subject comes from what might seem at first an unlikely source – the memoir of Field Marshall Montgomery, a leader of British ground forces in WWII. His observations apply as much to artists as to military leaders.

Generals who become depressed when things are not going well, who lack the drive to get things done, who lack the resolution, the robust mentality and the moral courage to see their plan through to the end are useless.  They are in fact worse than useless -- they are a menace -- since any sign of wavering or hesitation has repercussions down the scale when the issue hangs in the balance. . .

Indecision and hesitation are fatal in any officer. In a commanding general they are criminal.  Great leaders of the past had in common an inner conviction which, though founded (and very closely) on reason, transcended reason.  It was this which enabled them at a certain point -- the right one -- to take a short cut which took them straight to the  objective, more swiftly and surely than equally careful but less inspired commanders. . .  Moses and Cromwell believed intensely in a divine mission, which never failed them in battle, Napoleon in a human destiny, which in the end did... To exercise high command successfully one has to have an infinite capacity for taking pains and for careful preparation; and one has also to have an inner conviction which at times transcends reason.