I admire the bull, the eagle, and man with such an intense adoration, that it will certainly prevent me from ever becoming an ambitious person.
- Vincent Van Gogh

Ambition, ego, play big roles in the art world. Van Gogh seems to suggest that ambition is a hindrance to creative work.

The priority can't be on the money or recognition. That definitely affects the work. As artists, we need to be aware of the money part so that we don't live in abject poverty, but it can't be the focus. The focus has to be on manifesting a vision.

Especially in the early days. The early days are almost inevitably about sacrifice for the privilege of doing one's art, sacrifice for the priveledge of living on one's own terms. Poverty may actually be a positive in the early days.

In 2000, I interviewed Carel Pieter Brest van Kempen, a Salt Lake City artist who does highly realistic nature art. He told me that when he first started out as an artist, he lived in a van for three years and then in an abandoned building in order that he might be able to focus on art rather than on making a living.

I decided that if I really wanted to do art, I had to completely focus on it. And I had no distractions in the van. I didn't have to think about anything. I had pretty much no social life because people didn't want to be around me. I had no money. I looked shabby. I usually tried to keep myself fairly clean, but it is hard to keep yourself really clean living in a van...It was good for me as a person. It was good to focus, to be completely unconcerned with putting on the facade. With putting on airs. With dealing with people. It was healthy to drop off the planet and be in a meditative state for a couple of years. Which I think painting is. When it is going right. That is what I strive for. When I am working, I pretty much enter the world I am creating.

My art developed rapidly. When I moved into my van, my stuff was good enough to get into shows, but it wasn't good enough to excel. It was during the time in the van that I went from being adequate to being good.

I am compelled. I work about ten hours a day. Which is a lot less than I used to. Seven days a week. Unless I am traveling. I am putting off down time. I spent my twenties in downtime. . .
- Heron Dance interview, Issue 23 (June 2000)

To read more about Carel, and see some of his art, visit

http://www.cpbrestvankempen.com/paintingsav1.html

Below, a downloadable page you can use for your own journaling. To download visit here or clicking on the image below. It is 8.5 x 11 inches in size so easy to print out.

Below that, a two-page spread from my upcoming journal, Creativity as a Way of Life.

More on the thinking behind the journals here.