I’ve had a few experiences in my life – less than five – where I entered a deeply meditative state and encountered overwhelming feelings of positive energy. Once, during the darkest days of Heron Dance in 2011, I attended a shaman retreat put on by a former director of Heron Dance. I can’t remember how exactly I got into the trance that inspired the thoughts below, but it involved a lot of drumming and then a dream state during which I entered a hole in the ground and explored a different reality. I encountered a variety of animals, mostly fish and water mammals. I came upon a river full of rapids and gorges – in those days I was way into whitewater kayaking – and was forced along by an raging current and barely managed to stay upright. Eventually I found myself standing in the center of a half circle of spirit entities from another realm. They waited for me to speak. I asked them questions.

I asked them was whether or not I am too grouchy to be the creator of Heron Dance. This question was inspired in part by the struggles and resulting dark moods I was experiencing trying to keep Heron Dance going during a difficult time. And partly the question was inspired by my internal ferocity, a characteristic that has been both an ally in keeping Heron Dance going, and the biggest obstacle to it achieving its full potential.

Their response:

Don’t worry about things like that. Just be a conduit for our energy. Don’t try to do anything. Just be open to our energy.

It isn’t what you get, it is about what you give: love, compassion, beauty.

It is not about how you feel. It is not about what you don’t like. It is not about what makes you upset: unfairness, etc.

It is about what you give.

You have been given a powerful, courageous spirit. The spirit guides have chosen you to be a conduit for their energy. You need to do something with that.

Just be open to our energy, be a conduit for our energy. We will take care of the rest.

They told me not to worry about money. Live simply and they would see that enough money gets sent my way.  Discomfort was a part of my journey. Discomfort was my ally, my teacher, they said.

 They offered guidance into a variety of different subjects – what to explore in Heron Dance for instance. In those days Heron Dance was publishing the fictional, semi-erotic, private journal of Archibald Campbell, wild artist. Drop that they said. Too intense. They offered guidance on my role in the local community I was living at the time – in particular guidance on the subject of good people who avoid me because I can be too provocative and intense. They offered guidance on my self-protectiveness and my somewhat related attraction to unpredictable chaotic situations and people. They emphasized the importance of meditation and deep internal peace, two necessary elements of the path they had chosen for me. I asked them whether or not I’d die whitewater kayaking – an activity I was deeply involved in at the time. No, they said. But don’t worry about stuff like that. Whitewater kayaking is about balance and going with the flow, neither one of which you ever going to be particularly good at. Concentrate on spiritual journeys rather than physical journeys. I’m still not completely sure what they meant by that.

Overall their message was that there are positive forces of beauty, of cohesion and harmony and peace. And there are negative forces of chaos, destruction and hatred. Serve the positive forces and we will help you. We will be on your side.

I wish I could say that I took those messages to heart and reoriented my life around them. No I didn’t. I came up with a variety of excuses. I made halting efforts. I’m still on the journey, still sometimes failing, still sometimes succeeding. Still trying. I consider the fact that I am still trying a triumph of sorts. There is not a doubt in my mind that, had I followed the guidance they offered, the last twelve or thirteen years would have been more peaceful, more deeply satisfying. I would be more at peace with myself. On one level, it all gets down to surrender. Surrendering is the most difficult spiritual work I have done and need to do.

My point is that in deeply meditative states brought on by meditation and self-hypnosis we encounter important messages. Those messages often will not be what we expect or want to hear. Even though they involve living a simpler life, a more relaxed life, many of these messages are not easy to live. They challenge us on deep, uncomfortable levels. Nevertheless, they offer a path through the chaos, both the chaos inside and the chaos in the greater world that surrounds.

. . .

Meditation techniques

All meditation centers around the simple notion of slowing down the conscious mind, the mind of ego, desire, fear and self-protectiveness. Relax that part of the mind that thinks it knows a lot more than history would indicate it actually does.

Offer a space for your underworld, the subconscious mind, the preverbal mind, the silent wisdom, to venture forth.  Maybe the messages that arise come from out there in the ether and not inside. Maybe they come from the greater wisdom of the universe Who knows? We don’t even understand the chemistry behind a single thought, and why one thought is different than another. We understand very little about what is actually going on. We don’t even understand what force causes gravity, a basic element of our existence.

Relax into quietness. Listen to the softness of your breath. Relax your entire body. Close your eyes and enter a darkness that is comfortable and pleasant. If you are a lover of music as I am, put on some particularly gentle, beautiful classical or other music. Mozart and Handel seem to work best for me. The gentle, slow sonatas. Close your eyes and lose yourself in it. I often turn to jazz:  Myles Davis, Stanley Turrentine, Ben Webster. But the gentle side of their work. Or shakuhachi, Japanese flute music. Or shamanic drumming.

Take ten deep breaths. Relax your upper body, your neck and shoulders. Move gradually down your body, relaxing each section. The breaths gradually come slower, the spaces between each longer.

Sense the underlying current of your life. Allow symbols to present themselves even it you don’t understand them. You won’t understand many of them, particularly at first. Don’t try to force meaning on them. Open yourself to what is trying to manifest. Look for an inner myth that may be guiding you without you knowing it. Write down what presents itself.

Writing down the messages, however vague and ambiguous, will, over time, reveal patterns and important guidance. Writing imposes a degree of logic on scattered, haphazard thoughts.

Welcome your inner world, welcome mystery, into your life.

 Transcendental Meditation has probably been the single most important reason for whatever success I've had. It helps slow things down so that I can act calmly, even in the face of chaos, just like a ninja in a street fight.
-       Ray Dalio, founder of institutional investment management firm Bridgewater.