The poet is a man who lives at last by watching his moods. An old poet comes at last to watch his moods as narrowly as a cat does a mouse.
- Henry David Thoreau, in his journal. Thoreau And The Art Of Life.

Journaling can be useful in not only exploring the positive aspects of our lives and our inner world, but the dark shadows, the parts of ourselves that we keep hidden from others. That darkness is capable of generating tremendous energy. Harnessed but kept under control, it can provide depth and unpredictability to your creative work that the polite, nice you can’t access. More on that tomorrow in my other e-journal, Creativity As A Way Of Life.

. . .

I rarely get depressed. Maybe once a year for a day. Yesterday was one of those days.  

What was that dark mood trying to tell me about my relationship with my work? About how I’m living, what I’m doing? What is it trying to warn me about? What risks am I incurring that my subconscious is uncomfortable with?

I meditate and ask for answers. When I ask for a vision, an image, that represents this stage of my life, I see the path in the beautiful Georgia woods where I hike most days. The path winds through big old trees and the image fills me with peace and a sense of internal harmony. That suggests that I am on the right path, that this stage of my life is unfolding as it should.

Okay, so what else then? Where does this dark mood come from? I’ve engaged in a couple of transactions lately where I encountered dishonest businesses who took advantage of me, though for relatively small amounts, and I’m reluctant to move on and forget them. And I’m engaged in trivial conversations during recent days that are frustrating in their meaninglessness. I want to focus on my book, in quiet. I want to make more progress than I am. I am making good progress, but feel I should be making more. Maybe my dark mood comes in part from feeling stretched, from working too close to my energy limit.

On the other hand, four people have passed through my life lately, provided a helping hand, a financial boost, and encouragement. They’ve lifted me up. They’ve added power and energy to my journey, and thanked me for my contribution to theirs. There is a blessing in those interactions. I need to give thanks for that, pay more attention to the gifts constantly coming my way.

I ask the unconscious depths of my being to guide me though this, to give me the wisdom to walk away from the battles that are pointless, that will drag me down, adversely affect my work, and to give me the ferocity to fight the battles that need to be engaged -- ferocity but also detached perspective to identify crucial points of leverage, the weaknesses of my opponents -- if,  by winning those battles, I will discourage my adversaries from doing to others what they did to me.

I ask my unconscious, including my dark moods, for guidance, for the wisdom to pick the right path, to act in harmony with the greater good. To surrender when I should surrender, to focus on the many blessings of my life, on the positive, and to exercise caution and reluctance when considering conflict.

. . .

Through preverbal sensations, through feelings and moods, what is your subconscious trying to tell you about the path you are on?