The most demanding part of living a lifetime as an artist is the strict discipline of forcing oneself to work along the nerve of one’s own most intimate sensitivity.
      - Anne Truitt, sculptor, from Daybook, The Journal of an Artist

. . .

Our most intimate sensitivity as human beings manifests in our work as artists. That core issue at the center of our lives -- the unresolved issue -- manifests in our paintings, our poetry, novel, our film. It is not that we want it to. It just does. 

My struggle is to relax, to give in, to not try so hard. I know what kind of paintings I want to paint -- soft delicate watercolor washes of intersecting shapes. And I have painted those paintings. But rarely. They all start that way. At some point I apply water, which washes out key shapes. Then I apply bolder pigment. Which I kind of like, but I think of further improvement -- think of ways to work with contrast and interesting shapes. Eventually the painting becomes overworked. Then I apply white acrylic to give the shapes some space. 

The result is often a mess. But I know, if I start again, and start again, and then again, eventually I'll get those soft, beautiful watercolor shapes on paper.