My four favorite book excerpts on the characteristics of survivors:

(1) From Love, Medicine and Miracles by Bernie S. Siegel:

Paratroopers that survived Korea were tough but more patient than expected.  In response to mistakes they usually made a joke instead of getting angry.  More important, they had a relaxed awareness.  Each one seemed to have a sort of radar that was always on scan.  It wasn't primarily luck that brought these men through their ordeal.

One of the most prominent characteristics of survivors is a complexity of character, a union of many opposites.  They are both serious and playful, tough and gentle, logical and intuitive, hard-working and lazy, shy and aggressive, introspective and outgoing, etc.  They are paradoxical people who don't fit neatly into the usual psychological categories.  This makes them more flexible than most people with a wider array of resources to draw upon.

Survivors act not only from self-interest but also from the interest of others, even in the most stressful situations.  They clean up messes and make things safer and more efficient.  Their relaxed awareness and the confidence that it brings allow them to save their energies for the really important things.  When things are going well, they let well enough alone, leaving themselves free for curiosity about new developments or potential problems.  They may seem uninvolved at times, but they are foul weather friends.  They show up when there is trouble.

They have a high degree of self-esteem and self-love.  They are rarely docile.  They retain control of their lives.  They are intelligent, with a strong sense of reality.  They are self-reliant:  they don't need to be included among others although they value interactions with others.  Although concerned with their own welfare, they are also tolerant and concerned with others.  They tend to be non-conformists with a permissive morality -- they are unprejudiced, and they appreciate diversity among people.

Development of individuality is a safeguard to life and health.  It lifts a person out of the collective authority.  In rural or rugged areas the percentage of exceptional patients is higher.  They are independent, self- reliant people to begin with.

(2)  From At The Leading Edge (interviews by Michael Toms). 

This quote is from an interview of Marsha Sinetar, author of Ordinary People As Monks & Mystics:

Studies of children from abused home situations or who have mentally ill or otherwise dysfunctional parents show that about fifteen percent grow up to be well-adjusted.  These kids make a bond to themselves. People who overcome great difficulties have a trusted, trusting relationship with themselves. They know that if all else fails, they have a sacred entity within themselves -- what Saint Peter calls the inner man of the heart. They are aware of the inner core of themselves that is always there, that never ages and dies.

(3)  From Desert Solitaire by Edward Abbey

I suspect that the morose and fearful are doomed to quick extinction. Where there is no joy there can be no courage; and without courage all other virtues are useless. 

(4) From Thinking Fast and Slow, by Daniel Kahneman

If you are allowed one wish for your child, seriously consider wishing him or her optimism. Optimists are normally cheerful and happy, and therefore popular; they are resilient in adapting to failures and hardships, their chances of clinical depression are reduced, their immune system is stronger, they take better care of their health, they feel healthier than others and are in fact likely to live longer.​
Optimistic individuals play a disproportionate role in shaping our lives. Their decisions make a difference; they are the inventors, the entrepreneurs, the political and military leaders – not average people. They got to where they are by seeking challenges and taking risks. They are talented and they have been lucky, almost certainly luckier than they acknowledge. . . the people who have the greatest influence on the lives of others are likely to be optimistic and overconfident, and to take more risks than they realize.